21 January 2009 XfactorDates and GMTV with Lorraine Kelly

21 January 2009 XfactorDates and
GMTV with Lorraine Kelly

• Man Catcher 2009 - Kate takes Alison speed dating with XfactorDates

Read relationship expert Kate Taylor's top speed dating tips.
Kate began writing about sex and relationships in 1997 when she joined GQ magazine. She went onto have her own column titled "Sex Life" for four years.

Here are her top ten speed dating tips:

1. Be yourself
People are attracted to those who are natural and relaxed - trying to be someone or something you are not is a big turn off and can usually be detected. There is no point putting on a façade, as you can't keep it up forever!

2. Pay attention to your body language
How you look is just as important as what you say. Smile and sit up straight - good posture suggests confidence. Avoid fidgeting and coming across as too anxious. Lean towards your date, denoting interest and try to keep your body language open. Whatever you do, DON'T fold your arms - this is a big no no!

3. Dress Appropriately
First impressions are very important, so always be sure to dress to impress! You should also be certain to wear what you feel you are comfortable in and would normally wear for a night out. Ladies, don't wear anything too revealing as this can come across as too tarty. Guys, best not to overdress (e.g. in a suit) as this can appear to be too keen - smart/casual is always a winner.

4. Don't drink too much
Dutch courage is often needed and drinks flow at parties, but be cautious. Not only does everyone single suddenly appear much better looking as your standards and inhibitions almost certainly drop, but swaying and smelling of drink are also massive turn offs - you may not think you are drunk, but others who haven't drunk as much as you certainly will.

5. Don't be too provocative with your conversation
It's great to be original and create an impression, but pushing things too far is likely to cause offence and can be deemed as rude. Don't say anything which you would find offensive if said to you - and play it safe by avoiding anything too risqué or of a sexual nature.
6. Don't get too personal
Avoid getting too personal, too soon, as this will definitely result in awkward and embarrassing situations. If you feel you are getting a rapport going, take things slowly at the first meeting - getting too personal too soon can come across as pushy.

7. Don't be materialistic
Asking your date what car they drive, how big their house is or how much they earn are not good ways to create a good first impression. It really shouldn't matter how wealthy they are if there's a chemistry between you both - and pursuing it will just make them feel uncomfortable around you.
8. Don't ask about previous relationships
The last thing you want to mention on a date is an ex-partner and how marvellous or horrible they were. If you have only just come out of a relationship, be cautious about bringing that up - no one wants to hear about the emotional baggage you are carrying.

9. Listen to your date partner - but make sure you talk too
It's good to be confident and chatty, but you need to know when to draw the line. Allow your partner to speak too - no one likes a one-way conversation and if you do all the talking you can appear arrogant and selfish.

10. Don't come across as desperate!!

GMTV recommends Xfactordates.com – UK speed dating events.